HOSPITAL 2

If you remember, in August, I passed out and was taken to the hospital with a low heartbeat. I was told that my potassium level was too high. On Friday January 19th, I passed out again, and they told me I passed out while urinating (you understand why this is important later). And I was told by hospital personnel that my potassium was too low, which made my heartbeat go to 160 beats a minute.

Now I am not a doctor or a chemist. However, it seems to me it's pretty simple to figure it out. Solution -- one potassium pill equals no pass out; try two potassium pills -- no pass out; try three potassium pills, no pass out. Try four potassium pills - pass out. The answer would be to take three potassium a day.

Okay, now, let's start from the beginning, rapid heartbeat. Rapid heartbeats at 160- pass out. Fire department and ambulance show up. They are all great guys and were very compassionate and caring but also very competent. I am not a small person, and besides passing out, I had a terrible case of the gout. If you have never had it, you are missing one of the things that make good days worth living. Just a little pressure on the area brings you excruciating pain. Then four gentlemen- two from AMR and two from the Hamden Fire Department moved this almost 300 pound body down four stairs; down two outside steps; up the walkway and driveway with nary a wiggle on the stretcher.

When we get to the hospital I was taken immediately into a small room with five cubicles. Well. not really cubicles. Let me try to explain the room had too many people. I don't think the doctors or the patients knew who they were talking to.

Within the first hour I saw at least four doctors who examined me and asked the same questions over and over. They agreed that my potassium was too low; my heart rate was too high. After that it was a tossup. The most interesting diagnose is what I call the “pee syndrome.” That is, you pass out while you are urinating. I had never heard of it, but they told me it was fairly common. Now every time I go to a public bathroom I’ll look for bodies. It explains why I thought my friend was drunk when he passed out in the bathroom all the time.

The rest of my stay was a bit uneventful as they worked on balancing my medications to prevent me from fainting. Again I repeat over and over again how wonderful the personnel were. They put up with a lot of crap, both figuratively and literally.

There were a couple of highlights as there always are. Like, why do they wake you up to take your vital signs when you are on a heart monitor?

Then there was a lady who took my blood, who told me to look at something. When I told her I had low vision from diabetic retinopathy, she told me her eyes were also bad. She said she wore contacts and glasses. I understand now why I had all the black and blue marks on my arms.

And lastly, many of the help leave the room with “good luck.” Good luck is what I want at the casino or racetrack, not at the hospital